


how i wanna go

by daddymichaelis



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Angst, Ciel-centric, Heavy Angst, collar full songfic, i think this one isn't as ooc as it could've been, the taking of the soul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-24
Updated: 2014-09-24
Packaged: 2018-02-18 14:27:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 657
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2351654
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daddymichaelis/pseuds/daddymichaelis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>if you're gonna be the death of me, </p><p>that's how i wanna go.</p>
            </blockquote>





	how i wanna go

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first attempt at ciel-centric, so forgive me if it's complete shit.

Ciel's arms tightened.

His stomach did, too.

The prickly thorns that once guarded his heart are now facing inwards, piercing his heart to the core. His breathing quickened, and his lungs felt like they'd explode.

 

_Show me your love,_

_Gimme more but it's not enough._

 

The arms holding him suddenly felt less welcoming than the spikes running through his heart. Yet, he welcomed them anyway, he was not afraid. Ciel knew him, he knew the butler. He knew what he really was, and he personally knew the demon under the butler's skin. He was not afraid, he could not be afraid of the monster who used to love him. The cold arms let him fall, he landed on even colder concrete.

Ciel's mind was rather barren at this moment, all he saw was death and all he registered was death. That was the only constant in his life, besides the scent of cinnamon and vanilla that held him close at night. The demon smiled, it's fangs poking out of it's mouth. It's cold hand reached up, stroking his cheek, removing his eye patch. The fingers lingered on his cheekbone, it's magenta eyes gazing into his. The demon appeared disappointed when he did not see fear lingering in Ciel's eyes. The boy's lips turned up in a curve, some form of communication, clearly stating, _I am not afraid._ It frowned, sucking it's teeth.

The impending doom he felt when he saw the demon leaning in was indescribable. Greater than when he was in the cages, for sure. The sudden wave of anxiety and sadness that washed over him was unexpected, it drug him out to sea. Tremors took place in his fingers as the stabbing in his heart grew worse. All the affection shown towards him was simply an act, a spice to add to the soul, _he knew_ , but that didn't stop the throbbing in his heart, didn't prevent it from aching so badly he felt it in the tips of his toes and roots of his hair.

 

_Show me your love,_

_Before the world catches up._

_'Cause there's always time for second guesses, I don't wanna know,_

_If you're gonna be the death of me, that's how I wanna go._

 

The demon stopped a centimeter or two from his lips, pulling away and examining the child once more. It smiled again, a triumphant one. _Scared, little one?_ It's taunting tone made the fires rage further inside him. Despite the fury stomping through his veins, he reached up, lacing his arms around the demon's neck, ignoring how it's smile widened. The body that previously felt like a home is now a trap, and he isn't sure if it's his body or the one he's clinging to, but maybe they're both shedding their skin. He can feel the way something is swirling inside of him, he feels it being forcibly being ripped from his insides. Searing pain tears through him, and tears well in his eyes.

The boy's promised himself that he shan't cry, but now he's eating his own words as the salty liquid spills from his eyes, streaming down his cheeks. It felt as if the inside of him was being branded, a constant, steady burn, strong enough to make his vision waver.

It's then, and only then, that the shaking boy speaks.

“I love you.”

His words are a mere whisper and it gets caught in his throat, but the demon doesn't care. It scoops him up, and it jostles the body that feels like it's turning inside out. The pain crescendos, and Ciel screams, it doesn't project, his voice seemingly being eaten up by the humidity of the air. The small fingers clench and unclench, eyes blinking forcefully, mind scrambling to remember, anything to distract him from the burning of his soul and the way he feels it climbing up his throat and the throbbing of his heart, anything to slow his-

_"I know."  
_

 

**Author's Note:**

> yeah basically the "i know" is supposed to be sebastian saying it 
> 
> shut up it was a good idea at first


End file.
